October 2009 was an eventful month. I say eventful, because of a plethora of reasons.

Officially, 2009 is THE worst year I’ve had in my life. Despite the optimism I had in the beginning of this year, things went topsy turvy. It wasn’t fate – it was all because of my actions, or rather, the lack of it. I watched my life turn and toss into a deep pit of shit. I found myself ensconced in the worst problems in my life – some issues I never thought I’d have to face in life. One by one, I started losing parts of myself. How would you feel when you get screwed by life, virtually every other day? That was my condition. And there was nothing I could do to bring myself out of the shit-pit I’d fallen head over heels into. I could’ve averted the catastrophe, I could have saved myself, but it was way too late. “Ignorance was bliss” – the same philosophy that made Cypher to betray Zion in ‘The Matrix’ – I’d embraced that. I’d become an expert in masking myself. The world knew me as the happy-go-lucky-kid, but every moment I smiled, I’d be suppressing deep pain from within. It was excruciating. And I’d crossed breaking point.

October ’09 was my saving grace. For a change, things just began to fall in place. Temporarily, at least.  I could now stand on my own feet. For all the pain and humiliation I’ve been through, I got my moments of retribution. I enjoyed my first publishing success – I’m now a regular freelancer with The Hindu. And the biggest of them all, God showered me with the bonhomie of refreshing, new friendship – and I’m thankful for all my best buddies who’ve infused new life and spirit into me. Again, there was my 21st birthday to make things brighter. I wouldn’t go to the extent of terming my birthday the best ever, but it was good and special, thanks to buddies.

Now that goodie-goodie October is done with and a disastrous November just got over, I can only hope for December to be better. But the sweet memories of October will remain, forever ensconsed in the portals of my mind.

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