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Daily Blunder | ‘Watch’ out


Time: 7:45 AM, 22nd December, 2008
Coordinates: Mens Hostel, MES Kuttippuram
Occasion: Jashn ’09 – IEEE Kerala Silver Jubilee Celebrations, Valedictory Function.

I was among the 120-odd delegates attending the event, the sole representative of the IEEE Student Branch of my college. While other colleges had huge delegations to the tune of thirty plus students, my Fellow IEEEians  simply refused to attend the event for fear of  impending end-semester exams. My Branch Counsellor literally forced me at gunpoint to attend the event for sake of the college’s prestige.  I had to wage a huge fight with my parents to get permission to attend the event, at the end of which I boarded the Mangalore Express with buddies from MBCET and reached Kuttippuram the very next day, at about 4 AM. The MESians surprised us with their hospitality and kindly accomodated us at their wonderful (not sarcastic, seriously nice) Mens Hostel.

We were told that the programs would start early that day, and thus we had to be up and about by at least 8:30 AM. Haggard due to lack of sleep (due to some long winding ‘nightly conversations’ :P ), I had flopped onto my bed no sooner had I reached our room. I opened my eyes when my friend Arun from Mar Baselios shook me up to my senses. Everyone had gotten ready and I was among the few who were yet to bathe and dress up. Cursing, I grabbed random clothes from my bag and walked lazily to the toilet/bathroom area at one end of the hostel – we were housed on the third floor of the four storeyed hostel. Half asleep, I tried to open at least half a dozen (occupied) bathrooms only to mutter apologies at cuss words from the respective occupants.

To my delight, I finally got an empty bathroom and barged inside. I placed my clothes and watch by the windowsill and took a bath. It was refreshing – the water was ice cold, but I actually enjoyed it. I shook off my tired countenance and recharged myself. Basking in the glory of the new-found energy, I pulled out my towel that lay beneath my clothes, without looking at the windowsill where it was housed. That was when I heard a strange ‘chink’ sound. Something had fallen down, apparently. It was glistening and silvery-white, I could actually see it fall, through a corner of my eye. Dismissing it for an instant, I resumed… until I got back to my senses in shock!

Frantically, I checked the windowsill, beside my clothes, for my watch. It was missing!

It was my watch that went straight into the Indian Closet!!!

Titan Watch

Cursing like a madman, I did everything I could to salvage it – to no avail. My watch was already on its way to the septic tank deep down. The only hope of rescuing it was upon some future-archaeologist who’d examine the remains of my precious Titan ‘Chronograph’, rotten amid human excreta, with avid interest! :| Flush red with embarrassment, anger and dismay, I kept the incident under the closet (<– pun!). After all, the watch was over five years old, and septic tank, it seems, was written in its destiny! :)

P.S.

The very next day, I heard an announcement at the main stage about a lost-and-found watch at the college premises. I was like :o ! These people actually fished the septic tank for my watch without even my mentioning the incident! Joyous, I ran to the announcers desk, all agog with hope!

Shalima, the purdah-clad girl at the announcer’s desk smiled at my flared-nostril expression.

“I don’t think this watch is yours!”

She held a tiny watch in her right hand and flashed it before me. It was more a bangle than a watch, all gold-plated, with a tiny time-dial. An expensive ladies’ watch.

Muttering some choicest expletives under my breath, I thanked Shalima and left. :(

P.P.S.

“Son, where is your old titan watch?”

Mom’s irritated voice woke me up one fine Sunday morning.

Uh oh. Amma… I haven’t seen it in a while. Don’t know where it is!
Mom: It must be that scrawny bitch of our servant! She’s been stealing my money for long… now she’s also taken your watch! One day, I’ll catch her red-handed, and then….

I didn’t hear the rest of what mom said, for, I’d closed my eyes again with a smile on my face.:D

I now have a flashy Bosch watch, thanks to my uncle who’s a dealer of Bosch. :)

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Daily Blunder | Wish-u!


For the uninitiated:

Vishu (വിഷു ) – celebrates the beginning of a New Year in Kerala. Read this article in Wikipedia to know more.

Like all Hindu Nair families in town, Vishu is celebrated with pomp and grandeur at my place. Even my atheist dad joins in the festivities and allows himself a ‘Vishu Kani’. I’m also a great believer in Vishu, especially the ‘kani’ part. For a successful Vishu Kani you wake up early in the morning, and walk to the pooja room with eyes closed. There you open up to see the picture of Lord Krishna, basking in the glory of the lamp’s light, accompanied with the ‘Kanikkonna’ flower, fruits and the sweet smell of joss sticks. The cynosure of vishu is the ‘kai neetam’  – a ceremony where elders gift money to children/younger people in the family. And that makes Vishu the most awaited festival amongs us kids/young & jobless people! :P

Vishu

Vishu 2008.

Since my mom is unwell, it was incumbent on me to set up all the ingredients for the Vishu kani the night before this Vishu (14th April). Careless guy that I am, I did things slowly and made sure that the Vishu ‘thattu’ was set up  with utmost perfection. It was almost 11.30 PM when my work was done. Everyone at home were fast asleep by then. But I couldn’t bat an eyelid till 12.30, despite the best of my efforts! That was when this friend messaged me. Reminded of my old sleep-technique, I called her up. And we talked! An hour and forty five minutes later, during which I ranted meaningless crap, told half my life’s story, bitched about guys/gals I hated, and even sung a song(on her request), she could bear no more and bade goodbye. It was 2.05 AM and I still couldn’t sleep! Left with no other choice, I switched on the PC, and sifted through IMDB Top 250 movies. After scheduling some five-six movies for download, I flopped onto the bed and slept soundly.

I vaguely remember dad & mom repeatedly trying to wake me up for the Kani, but I brushed them off, impenitently muttering that I need more sleep. Five to ten minutes of effort might’ve pissed them off, for I can’t remember any further effort from their part to wake me up.  Finally, I did wake up! I opened my eyes for a split second, to escape from the searing light sifting through the windows, but shut them down again for fear of polluting my ‘kani’. Slowly, gingerly, I stepped out of bed and carefully started taking measured steps downstairs, hands guarding my closed eyes.

Just as I got out of my room, a raspy female voice pepped with surprise, awe and mockery stopped me, mid-way:

“അയ്യോ! കണ്ണിനെന്തു പറ്റി?”

(OMG, What happened to your eyes?)

Shocked at the sudden, unexpected voice (which resembled the cackle of the proverbial Witch), I opened my eyes, only to my horror.

It was my servant who bore a very contorted smile on her face!

MY VISHU KANI RUINED!!!

Mustering all my calm, I closed my eyes once more and answered that I was going to see my Kani, went down and saw the beautiful sight of Lord Krishna adorned in garland, just for form’s sake, cause my Kani was already gone!

The ‘kani’ effect perhaps, I got a meagre ‘kaineetam’ of hundred bucks (and I had to put up a fight for that too!). Guess what, dad unceremoniously borrowed that from in the evening curtly mentioning that he had no change in his purse!

What a plight! :(

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