Apparently, two of my latest blog posts got deleted for no valid reason that I can comprehend. Those posts were intact, when I’d logged in early in the morning, to switch off downloads. When I visited the blog at around 11:30 AM today, just before I left for college,  I was dumbfound – two of my latest  posts,  the latest – ‘ഞാന്‍ ആരാ’ one  and the previous ‘iM dA NeRD’ had vanished into thin air. I did everything possible, downloaded my Blog’s database and queried it like a madman using all SQL commands I knew – to no avail. Lost an hour of valid last-minute-prep time to the lost posts. Not a good decision from a future-’manager’, but yeah, the blog comes first anyday! \m/

CC Credits: vramak

After I got back home after today’s exam, I did a bit of research myself. I knew for a fact that WordPress doesn’t delete posts on its own. Then how could the posts  go? Quite likely to be a server-side issue. I must send a support-ticked to my friendly-neighbourhood WebHost (which has been working awesome for me, apart from a few minor glitches like this ).

The incident caught me unawares and bang, I’m in one of those ‘desperate’ moods today. I’ve tonnes to mug, and I’m looking up a few slides at the moment – but this mood-swing (complicated by delicate ‘matters of the heart) has terribly killed my interest to learn.

Now, that has left me thinking. How would a seemingly simple, mundane external event leave me depressed? More than ‘how’, the question could be rephrased into ‘why’. Can’t I ignore the whole damn thing and be happy again? Is happiness an easy choice to make? Theoretically, yes. But at times, it’s way more than a choice. Happiness is a state of mind which has a lot to do with external stimuli, I sadly realized. And stimuli weren’t exactly in my favour. So I had to do something intellectually stimulating so as to rejuvenate my mind. No, I can’t do a song again – two songs a month is way above my quota and, not all the reviews are positive! I can’t post on a dedicated topic for want of time and patience.

So, ta dah, here I am doing another arbit-post. \m/

If you ask me, arbit posts are a lot more fun than a carefully thought-about post. The thought process itself requires significant time and mental effort, not to mention finger-crunching at 75 WPM – but arbit posts are exercises in mental-outpour. I just open my mind to my fingers – which do the typing. So, rest assured, this is a straight from the heart post! Besides, the satisfaction of seeing the vagaries of your mind printed out in nice typeface, in grammatical perfection (not always! ) is satiating to a great extent.

As regards to ‘matters of the heart’, well, I’m in a dilemma. I have to take a decision, an immediate decision on a very delicate issue, a relationship. Yes sir, being a ‘young adult’, I’ve all rights to engage myself in feminine company – which I’ve actually not had for a while now, sadly.   Somehow, the stars don’t seem to be right for me, it seems. I deliberately suppressed my feelings for the fairer sex, after a very embarrassing debacle, and lived as if they didn’t exist – I refused outright to get closer to girls, but I did keep existing female friends and sisters. Maybe its high time I found a person who completes me, I guess. Hopefully, I’ll get the girl of my dreams, soon enough. (Girl, if you’re reading this… lol, you know what to do! )

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

Ah, time out. Nightout Phase 1 begins!

See, I told you, blogging is the best way to recharge your mind. Wish me luck for tomorrow’s exams. Until then I’ve miles to go, before I sleep! Adios!

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